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I started to believe that academic perfection would be the only way to redeem myself in her eyes--to make up for what I had not done as a granddaughter. However, a simple walk on a hiking trail behind my house made me open my own eyes to the truth.In the third paragraph she takes off a hundred miles an hour… Over the years, everything--even honoring my grandmother--had become second to school and grades.(For more on how to test for this, click The Great College Essay Test link above.)Craft is the sense that you know the purpose of each paragraph, each sentence, each word. For each paragraph, each sentence, each word, ask: Do I need this? Here’s a list of 100 Brave and Interesting Questions. They covered the precious mahogany coffin with a brown amalgam of rocks, decomposed organisms, and weeds.
First, take The Great College Essay Test to make sure your essay is doing its job. To see how the Narrative Essay structure works, check out the essay below, which was written for the Common App "Topic of your choice" prompt.
The job of the essay, simply put, is demonstrate to a college that you will make valuable contributions in college and beyond. We believe these four qualities are essential to a great essay: Core values are the things that are so important to you that you would fight for them. To test what values are coming through…Read your essay aloud to someone who knows you and ask: To search for “so what” moments of insight, review the claims you are making in your essay. The uncommon connections are often made up of insights that are unusual or unexpected. You might try reading it here first before reading the paragraph-by-paragraph breakdown below.
We don’t see every single interaction; instead, we see: He surprises her at work with flowers. We’ve had too many students try to write “soundtrack” or “mix-tape” essays in which their favorite songs provide the soundtrack for their lives. No essay (or college essay format) will, on its own, get a student into a college.
The problem with writing this type of essay, however, is that the reader can’t hear the music (and often doesn’t know or have the same emotional connection to the songs referenced). Many different students are accepted to colleges each year with many different types of essays.
I became desperately devoted to my education because I saw knowledge as the key to freeing myself from the chains of ignorance.
While learning about cancer in school I promised myself that I would memorize every fact and absorb every detail in textbooks and online medical journals.
And as I began to consider my future, I realized that what I learned in school would allow me to silence that which had silenced my grandmother.
However, I was focused not with learning itself, but with good grades and high test scores. This Raises the Stakes because we as readers sense intuitively (and she is giving us hints) that this is not the way to get over her grandmother’s death.
She also sets up an objective correlative (the shovel) that will come back later.
When my parents finally revealed to me that my grandmother had been battling liver cancer, I was twelve and I was angry--mostly with myself.