And when we become adults we should become self-reliant individuals, but funnily enough, we become even more dependent on others. We feel that we always have to agree with everything and everyone. Instead of being timid, stand up right and say what you think without reservation. If you want to have a voice in the world, you can’t expect that will happen smoothly. When we have a conflict, we often say to ourselves, “I don’t care.” And we walk away. I look up to many people, but I don’t consider them as saints. Instead, learn how to become a master of your feelings and emotions.
When we look at ourselves, we never even consider that we might not need those things. I’ve drawn these lessons from Stoicism, Transcendentalism, and Pragmatism. How often do you think or feel something and you’re afraid of speaking it? Also, you don’t have to agree with everything your idols or examples say. In other words: Speaking out your emotions is not always useful.
In a sentiment his soul-brother Henry David Thoreau would come to echo a decade later, Emerson laments the ease with which we accept the judgments and opinions of others as objective truth while dismissing our own — a lamentation all the timelier a century and a half later, as the 24-hour media cycle feeds us ready-made opinions under the guise of objective news: A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages.
Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his.
— 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood?
Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh.
Otherwise, you become a dependent robot who can’t function by itself. But at the same time, we believe that it’s bad to depend on yourself. Because when you’re self-reliant, you can enrich the lives of the people around you much more. And even though I must confess I don’t fully master emotional self-reliance, I have made significant steps that positively changed my life. What you will find next are 6 lessons that can help you to become emotionally self-reliant. It’s always harder to speak your mind and to stand for something. Nothing’s going to change when you let out all your emotions.
When you’re needy, you only damage your relationships in the long-term.
At thirty-nine, Emerson writes: To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, — that is genius.
Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost.